There once was a little girl... She and her older brother lived with their true parents til she was about 3.  From  before her birth til her fathers death in this life..her parents were at war with one another.  She never knew them to be kind to one another...if they were she has no recollection because she was an infant.  She had many visions at this young delicate age of 3.  Many visitors in the spirit realm came to see her in the night. Once she heard voices downstairs and she peeked down the steps and saw ghosts sitting around her wooden round dinner table.  Another time she woke from chanting her heard outside.  She walked into her parent's room frightened but they were nowhere to be found.. The window was open, and the lacy white curtain was blowing in the breeze.  The chanting was loud and coming from outside in the field.  She looks and sees these glowing red fire people hitting at the earth with hatchets or axes. In the midst of the parents war..after much confusion, violence, sadness, bitterness, pain, and devastation between them..her father takes the two children without the mother's knowing and runs away with them... The mother is devastated, and feeling powerless eventually gives up trying to be a good mother as she falls into despair and depression.  The girl grows up without a true mother, but raised by someone she very much considered to be the wicked witch of the west from the Wizard of Oz movie.  She even thought she looked like her.  She would never treat the girl as her own, and acted somewhat jealous toward her.  She wanted her own daughter, and once she had given birth to her boy and girl she always made it a point to let everyone know that they were "not her children".  The girl grew up longing for a love that could never be satisfied..a need for emotional comfort..to be nurtured.  It's as if she suffered from a broken heart at age three.

 There was one she would see often.  He called himself the Judge.  He would come to her window outside of the home, and call her name..til she woke from her sleep and came to the window.  She would sit on the sill between the curtain and glass in her secret hiding place and look down at him.  His eyes glowed red.  He would ask her questions and they would talk.  He would say to her "Why don't you come down here?"  One time he asked her to do so..she replies " I can't..." He says "yes you can" his head looking up at her...his cape swirling ...his eyes red glowing..... His arms reach up into the air..suddenly she slips through the glass as if she is a ghost and she is upside down in the air falling in slow motion toward the demon..spinning...spinning closer closer...til her eyes are right in front of his, and then she sits straight up in bed...but it wasn't a dream.  Just another night... 

All of her childhood she is haunted by a dark presence.  As she grew older the night visions became less and less frequent.  There were nights she would wander in a sleep state afraid...searching for someone to keep her safe, but only her cat to comfort and protect.  The fear that consumed her at night was thick like a fog that hung over her in her bedroom every night.  She could feel something watching her from her windows at night always.  When she would go to bed she would pull her covers over herself so tightly leaving only a hole for her nose to breathe as if it were to shield her from the darkness that lingered.  ......there's more...

Oh wow... I haven't posted in ages... So much has happened with my acting since I last posted. I stopped trying to form a band for a while.  Some rad things worth mentioning here.  I've been in two short completed films by Mark Mackner.  One film "Mortal", by Kat Lehmer is still in the making, and should be out soon. I play a ghost (Ava) who haunts vampires(trailer below). One was called Saint Blacktrick it's like a parody of St. Patrick. It was a film made by Mark Mackner in Philadelphia in the Project 21 ..21 day filmmaking competition.  I really didn't know what to expect, but it was actually a really fun time making the movie, and when I saw the finished product at the Average Superstar screening for the film...I loved it more on the big screen.  It was the first time seeing myself up on the big screen ( I had finished filming for Mortal, but she is still doing final editing..It will be so worth the wait)  I'd dreamt of this moment...and fuck hollywood or not...it was like being in love...with myself for the first time in a whole other way.  I was so nervous for some reason...but there was no need...I looked awesome, and my parts turned out very well. The movie was definitely no kind of master piece, but it was fun, and not to be taken too seriously.   I only had a couple parts, but I still had a rad part. I was a snake worshipping cult member. The second film of M.M's was called Daisy Derkins Dogstitter of the Damned.  This movie I have to be drunk to watch... It's not my favorite,  but it was good practice nonetheless. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ZGO5eGe2lE  I The two movies I have finished my parts in..Flowers and Mortal..I'm still waiting on the final editing so we can screen them.  Mortal has been a long time in the making, but I think it's going to be my favorite.  Flowers, by Philip Stevens  is so brutal and scary!!! I'm not even going to lie... I'm a lil spooked about it!  It's almost like everyone involved in the making of this movie had some type of otherworldly shit happen to them during the making, and I remember doing my 6 hour in between the walls scene..by the end of it it had started to feel very real for me...like my dirt and blood covered body was really this way.... I had to do a sceme where I am dragging myself across the floor as if my legs were broken for hours hahaha.  I liked it though...It was a good workout.  I did a couple photo shoots since then as well, and will post some pix on the next one :)~ Trailer for Mortal and Flowers below